Hello hello, and welcome to Episode 78 of Life On the Brink!
During these final weeks of the year, there is much celebration. All the parties and feasting usually stretches until January (at least!), but alongside all this festivity also comes quite a bit of reflection. As we rapidly approach the New Year, with its freshness and hidden promises, we often feel the need to set new goals, to reinvent ourselves, right on the tails of a busy holiday season! What if we took a softer, more gentle approach to welcoming the new year?
Today I’m sharing just a few prompts and ideas to help you reflect and appreciate what this past year has meant to you and how you have changed within it, then a few fun ways to ease into January without unnecessary pressure.
What’s in my teacup? David’s Tea’s Alpine Punch, from their Top Holiday 12 tea Sampler
Think of the energy that comes with each new springtime, when new flowers are emerging from the earth and birds are chirping overhead. Or of the cookouts and beach days that come with each summer. We have more energy and a natural inclination for action in the warmer months, and our bodies crave more activity. For those of us in the Northern Hemisphere, however, Christmas brings the quiet arrival of winter. Most of the time I don’t even realize it’s here until after the holidays.
Winter is a time of rest, of hunkering down and cozying up; time moves at a slower pace. The early-setting sun encourages longer sleep, less noise. It’s a beautiful circular rhythm that we experience each year, and I believe it is worth honoring.
Why is it, then, that every January 1st, right at the beginning of winter, we insist on reinventing ourselves? On changing our rhythms and making dreams happen now? Immediately after a week of partying, is now really the best time to make drastic changes?
I do enjoy the celebration of New Year’s Eve, not only because I have a few beloved family traditions, but because there is something lovely about marking the time, similar to a birthday. Regardless of the season, New Year’s Day feels fresh and new, exposed in the bright winter sun. This year I simply wish to enjoy that freshness without any pressure.
REFLECTION
This is one of my favorite parts: thinking back on the previous year, reading my journal entries and intentions for the past 12 months. It’s a chance to slow down and assess. This year, why not start with a few simple questions.
Sometimes I like to go through my journal or through the photos on my phone from the last year, just to refresh my memory. Either way, take these ten questions slowly, writing down whatever comes to mind:
1. What were some of the big highlights from this year? What made them so significant?
2. What were this year’s biggest challenges? How have you grown through them?
3. What took you by surprise this year?
4. What routines or habits were most precious to you? How can you continue or build upon them next year?
5. What brought you the most stress this year? Is there anything you can do to alleviate it next year?
6. What brought you a strong sense of satisfaction? What about comfort?
7. How have your relationships changed in the past year?
8. What were you most afraid of one year ago? Is it still the case? What might change in the future?
9. What goals did you make last January? Did you meet them? If not, have your goals changed? How can you help yourself succeed this year?
10. What are you most grateful for tonight?
The simple act of reflecting, I think, is a great tool to see what’s working for you (and what isn’t).
Personally, some big highlights from 2022 include: buying a house, traveling to Canada with Josh, going on a Disney trip with my family, completing my first year as a chorus teacher, throwing a tea party picnic for my birthday, and watching Josh complete his master’s degree.
Of course, there were also challenges I didn’t expect, and things that I didn’t plan for, but I love to think about what those have taught me about God and about myself. Every year we have the opportunity to learn and grow, and without stopping to reflect and enjoy that growth, it will easily go unnoticed.
That being said, many of the questions on this list pertain to the future. How can you take what you experienced and learned this year to enjoy next year? That leads us to the subject of goals.
GOAL SETTING AND DREAMING
Many people make Resolutions on New Year’s Day, as a new year presents a sort of “clean slate” in our minds. By now we know, though, that the success rate of most new year’s resolutions is quite small. What if we took a different approach?
Personally, I made a few goals last year, one of which was very big and pertained to my career as a musician. About halfway through the year, though, I came to understand that it really wasn’t time for that kind of step in my professional life, and let that goal go. It wasn’t easy! But I know it’s what was needed this year.
In contrast, Josh and I bought a house! That’s a huge goal that I didn’t even set last year that has taken a lot of time and effort, and will continue to be a big transition in 2023. I don’t feel bad for letting go of a goal for now when the timing just wasn’t right.
I did, however, make a goal to read 30 books, and I’ve surpassed that! That small goal is worth celebrating too.
Reflecting on the past year is a chance to look at the types of goals you set and, on a broader scale, the kind of life you want to lead. Every goal is likely just a small part of a bigger picture, that is, the way you envision your dream life.
For example, my biggest goal in 2023 is to make our new house feel like a home by Christmas (at least downstairs). That goal, I’ve discovered, is tied to a vision I have of my future self.
I wake up slowly, looking out at the trees from my bed, then slowly putter
over to the kitchen. While the kettle boils, I tidy up a few small things from
the night before, then make myself a cup of tea. I take my mug outside to
the deck, perched above the bit of forest and pond at the end of the yard.
Maybe I tend to a few plants or gather some herbs from the garden.
All is quiet as the sun rises over the trees.
This is the kind of dream I have for myself, and it’s crazy that our new house, our future home, can look just like this! In the meantime, though, let’s break down some of the details of that dream:
-waking up early to enjoy the morning
-making a cup of tea in silence
-spending time outside
-a home that is well lived in (hence the tidying up)
-a garden to tend
-peace of mind
These are small moments that are not inherently tied to the complete vision of the future, but are what the dream is really about: waking up peacefully and enjoying my home. I can do that now, and I often do! Each year I hope to grow more into myself and create a home that reflects that more and more, but the essence of what my heart longs for is much less about a house and much more about what it represents, the moments that can happen there. When you look at it that way, our dreams are much closer than we think.
This year, try thinking about the root of your desires, and if you must set a goal, let it be attainable. Be patient and be kind to yourself, for you are already enough.
Let’s let January be a time of dreaming, rather than doing.
CELEBRATION
These kinds of exercises are really beneficial, I think, when shared with your partner or your family and friends. Why not use one night this week to sit down and share your answers to the questions above? It’s so nice to celebrate each other and learn more about the thoughts and dreams of those you love.
My sister has kept an interesting tradition for the past 10 years or so that I just wanted to share: Every year, whenever someone says something funny, she writes it down on a small strip of paper. She then adds them to a jar, letting them be forgotten. Then, at the end of the year, she empties the jar and reads off all the hilarious things that happened in the past year, and we all end up laughing hysterically.
It’s nice because it also reminds us of some of the events from the past year that we might have forgotten about, and it really highlights some of the joyful moments.
However and wherever you choose to celebrate the passing of another year, I hope that perhaps this episode has given you some ways to gently welcome the new year. There is no pressure to transform yourself on January 1st, so simply enjoy it as a chance to reflect on the good times of last year and to dream about the future.
We have the next few weeks to enjoy a holiday break, and I’ll be taking one myself! In the meantime, I thought I’d share YOUR favorite episodes of Life On the Brink so you can check out any that you might have missed.
THIS YEAR’S TOP EPISODES: the three most popular episodes!
A very Merry Christmas to you and your family, and a Happy New Year in 2023!
This Week’s Little Joy: Every December I go looking for the next year's journal. I use my journals for scheduling, to do lists, podcast brainstorming, as well as writing entries to process my thoughts. This year I got a little fancy and bought a Classic Notebook from Moleskine. The best part: I tend to pick a new color each year, as something about the color feels "right" concerning the next year, and THIS year I was drawn to a deep green. I just love this journal and can't wait to write in it.
What I’m Listening To: “If On A Winter’s Night” by Sting is a fantastic Christmas-into-winter album. Most of the tunes are folk tunes and madrigals, but the arrangements make them totally unique. Listening to this album feels like walking through the forest after a big snow, and I highly recommend it.
Thank you so much for listening!
I'll be back on January 12th for the first episode of 2023, so until then, I wish you a Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year!
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