Hello hello, and welcome to Episode 75 of Life On the Brink!
Somehow, crazily enough, it is Christmastime again! Wow, this is such a special time and every year I look forward to it. It’s a time to enjoy those around us, to celebrate with gifts and food and prayers of thankfulness, and is indeed magical. However, this season can also be a great source of stress.
If you recall, this past October I released Part One of this series on reducing holiday stress and was all about planning ahead: getting dates in the calendar and getting a head start on gift shopping in a way that works for your schedule and budget and priorities. Well, we are now solidly in the Christmas season itself, and Part Two is focusing on ways to enjoy a Calm Christmas.
Much of the inspiration for this episode comes from Beth Kempton’s lovely book “Calm Christmas and a Happy New Year,” which I actually mentioned last year in Episode 45. Well this year I’m actually reading the book and it is WONDERFUL. I cannot recommend this book enough, so if this episode speaks to you in any way, do pick up a copy of her book. In her words, it’s all about, “a new kind of festive season, one that allows us to create magic and memories without sacrificing our own well-being, ushering us towards a lasting sense of serenity and contentment.”
In this episode I hope to provide a few solutions to potential stressors, calm (but fun!) ways to spend your December days, and provide space for you to pause and ask yourself how you can embrace a Christmas season that leaves you comforted, nourished, and refreshed in the New Year.
What’s in my teacup? From David’s Tea. I got their “david's top holiday teas 12 tea sampler” as a form of daily advent treat (minus the calendar) and am loving it so much. Each of these teas are so different and delicious, it’s such a fun way to get into the Christmas spirit each day.
“When we think about what Christmas means to us, we recall both individual memories and an overarching narrative…so our own narrative evolves and influences those of others around us. In this way, it becomes part of our legacy. Much of the stress of Christmas comes from either not giving ourselves permission to evolve our inherited narrative, or from the pressure to evolve it into something that is out of alignment with what, deep down, we believe about Christmas.”
With that, let’s let go of a “perfect” Christmas and look at ways to enjoy this season in a new way.
WAYS TO EMBRACE A CALM CHRISTMAS
1. Think about what kind of Christmas you’d like to experience.
“When I hear the word ‘Christmas,’ I see a personal movie reel in my mind’s eye. And your own reel probably starts running, too. But that doesn’t mean we are watching the same show.”
This is the first step: identify your priorities and think of what you can let go. Talk with your partner or family if need be and decide what is really important to you.
I love how Christmas returns year after year. Reflecting on that takes some of the pressure off, since I don’t have to observe every tradition with every person every year, as Christmas will always come again. On the other hand, it helps me look at what or who makes this Christmas in particular so sweet or unique, and embrace them.
2. Prioritize sleep. None of us can handle potential stressors very well when we’re physically fatigued. In addition to simply resting your body and mind, actually sleeping is so important during this time for replenishing your whole being. As the nights become longer, our bodies crave more stillness and sleep, so take a look at your nighttime routines and prioritize getting a solid 7-8 hours of sleep wherever possible.
3. Eat balanced meals. Tis the season for all manner of sweets in the breakroom, indulgent meals with friends and family, and a chance for us to intentionally nourish our bodies. Food is such an important part of holiday traditions, and I think they should be enjoyed! But just like sleep, well balanced meals in between all the festivity can help us feel our best. Hearty stews, winter squashes, and fresh citrus are among my favorites during this season, and whether you cook each evening as a relaxing hobby or you prefer to meal-prep and freeze or embrace the slow-cooker (fantastic invention), stock your pantry with fresh ingredients for simple homemade meals.
4. Be flexible. For all our planning, we will never be able to account for every possibility, so I would encourage a bit of spontaneity in this season. If an opportunity arises that excites you, feel free to go off-script a little bit, even in your scheduling. Remember, there’s no one way to do Christmas.
“Simplicity, delight, and belonging are the true touchstones of festive joy.”
5. Get outside. Truly, nothing gets me out of my head than a quick walk in the cold December air. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, just take a step outside for some deep breaths or a quiet walk. Sometimes being active is the last thing I feel like doing, but combine a bit of exercise with the sounds of leaves rustling and birds chirping, and I’m so refreshed afterward.
6. Be ok with melancholy and sadness. During this time, it’s natural for us to feel more acutely any losses or worries, and it’s for this reason that Kempton dedicates a whole chapter to dealing with loneliness and grief during Christmas. The main takeaway I would encourage you all with is to go easy on yourself (and on others) and, again, let go of what Christmas “is supposed to look like.” If you’re having a hard time, know that you’re not alone and that reaching out to someone you trust is the best thing you can do.
If you know someone who has suffered a loss this year, make a point to reach out to them, spend time with them, and just ask them what they need.
7. Preserve your nights off.
“Much of the stress at this time of year comes from being pulled in many different directions and taking on the pressure of hosting at the end of a long year. One route to a calmer Christmas is to begin with some real honesty about who you want to spend time with.”
In Part One of this series, I encouraged us all to intentionally carve out time in our calendars for rest. Now as those times approach, preserve that restful time and spend it doing what will feed your body and soul during this season, like cooking a warming meal, mindfully wrapping gifts with a favorite movie on, or reading a cozy book. Anything that will replenish your energy and excitement.
Finally, I would love to leave you with a sweet message from Kempton’s book that perfectly sums up my hopes for each of you this Christmas season:
A Christmas Wish
However you choose to spend Christmas this year, I wish this for you:
May you know you are loved.
May you let others know you love them.
May you be safe, and offer shelter.
May you be open to your sadness, and welcome joy.
May you receive whatever you need.
This Week’s Little Joy: On Thanksgiving night, as Josh and I were coming back from his family’s celebration, he pointed out the Hampton Coliseum to me. It’s an event venue and iconic fixture of our town (and very visible from the interstate), and every Christmas they light up the whole building in bright colors. We happened to catch the very first showing of those lights, and it was a sweet signal to me that the Christmas season had officially begun.
What I’m Listening To: I’ve really been enjoying this album, “Christmas Time II,” by Borrtex. It’s filled with short instrumental tracks that really encapsulate that Christmasy feeling of wonder, but in a calm and sparkly way. I like putting it on in the morning while enjoying my first cup of tea and maybe reading a page or two before starting my day.
Thank you so much for listening!
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I hope you have a very merry start to the Christmas season, and I'll be back next week with a new holiday episode.
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