Hello hello, and welcome to Episode 49 of Life On the Brink!
Today I am speaking about and drawing from one of the first books I’ve read this year. It’s “Seeking Slow” by Melanie Barnes. As she explains in the beginning of this book, she and her family have been on a journey for several years now to live slower. So often we find ourselves wrapped up in trying to balance work, family, the home, projects, and all sorts of things, and it begs the question: “Is all this really necessary?” Perhaps not.
I really love this quote from Barnes’ book, as I felt it captured the spirit of Life On the Brink as well:
“We often equate happiness with the big moments in life, but there is a
lot of joy to be found in the simple things. Let’s learn to cherish those small
moments, and refocus what it means to be happy– it is not about trying
to have it all, but about learning to be content with what we have, and
that less can indeed be more.”
Speaking of which, go ahead and make yourself a cup of tea.
What’s in my teacup? Organic Turmeric Ginger Green Tea from The Republic of Tea
Right then, in this episode, we’re going to talk about a few things.
1. Priorities/Values: identifying what’s important to YOU
2. Pinpointing what “mindfulness’ really is
3. Simple ways and routines to help slow down and enjoy your life
FINDING YOUR VALUES
Often, our modern-day world moves so fast, sometimes the days feel much too short. Now, of course we have obligations like work and family, but I believe there are ways we can refocus and find slowness in our routines and in our downtime. I’d like to share a quote from Barnes’ book about options and leisure:
“While in one respect it is wonderful to have so much choice and flexibility
with what we can do and when, it is important that we are mindful about how
we choose to spend our free time, and that we invest our energy in activities
that bring us joy and enhance our well-being…Wouldn’t it be great if we could combine the wonderful things that make our lives easier in the twenty-first
century with the age-old traditions and ideas that better support our overall
well-being?”
I think the best way to find out what will support your well-being is to start with identifying your values. What is it that at the end of the day is most important to you? Zoom out and think Big Picture: when you reflect on the whole of your life, what is it that really matters?
For me, the big ones are simple: my faith and my family. After that, I find that I love sharing things that I love with others, like food, music, tea, and stories. Travel is very important to me. I love being inspired and inspiring others to enjoy their own life. With these values in mind, it puts the minutiae of little deadlines and the structures we create in a different, perhaps less significant, light. In the end, the most important things for me don’t require fame or fortune or working myself to the bone in order to enjoy.
I would encourage you to ask yourself those same questions. What really matters to you? Reflecting on your values will help as we dive into ways we can slow down and spend our time differently.
MINDFULNESS
Barnes defines mindfulness as “a wakeful awareness that encourages us to train our attention”, basically it’s just focusing on the present moment. Even that simple act of reflection we just did regarding our values is an act of mindfulness. Though the term is sometimes branded as a certain kind of hashtagable lifestyle, I would define mindfulness as simply resetting and focusing on the present. Barnes recommends meditation as a means of resetting, and these days you can find guided meditations on several apps.
I personally like to take a few minutes in the morning to pray, to quiet my mind and give thanks, and it honestly does do much to set up my day. I also really enjoy Yoga With Adriene, a Youtube Channel that is now quite well-known, that’s full of super-approachable yoga and guided meditation exercises. It just helps me bring my mind back to the present moment.
Just having a chance to stop and breathe and reflect for a moment can do a lot, rather than simply acting and moving all day, every day. Now let’s hold onto this idea as we look at ways to slow down and enjoy, because simply giving something your full attention can make it that much more enjoyable.
WAYS TO LIVE SLOWLY
1. Have a digital detox. Consider trying some of these:
-designate a “phone zone” where your phone stays, preferably walking distance away
-turn off notifications
-be intentional about “online time”. Let it be its own activity.
-limit phone use during the first and last hour of the day.
-once a week, take a day off
2. Use your work time to your advantage: Check out Episode 40 all about productivity and maximizing your work time and enjoying your rest.
3. Incorporate slow self care each day. Here’s a few ideas:
-take a walk
-make a cup of tea
-set aside a half hour in the middle of the afternoon to read an enjoyable book
-have a conversation with a friend
-dance or listen to music
-cook or bake something special
-do a yoga practice
-really enjoy your skincare routine.
NOTE: please don’t try to do all these things in one day, every day. Sometimes it’s easy for me to treat leisure time the way I do work time, always trying to optimize and “better myself” through self-care. Basically, just incorporate things you enjoy into your every day, and know that you don’t have to fill every moment with some life-giving activity. Rest is important, and sometimes doing nothing is best.
4. Let your mind rest. Consider letting your mind wander:
-take a break from podcasts and music now and then
-allow yourself to get bored
-daydreaming is a wonderful thing. We are more imaginative and creative when we allow our brains to come up with things on its own.
-take a pause to simply take a few deep breaths
5. Declutter and cozify your home: Barnes recommends starting here:
-pick one area of the home to focus on at a time
-sort and organize by category, not by room
-organize your stuff so everything has a place
-tidy little and often
-sort your paperwork
-have a charity bag
-involve your family/children
6. Shop slow:
-buy less and choose well
-buy secondhand and vintage. This can also be less expensive!
-take good care of your belongings
-try to shop locally and ethically
-remember that little changes to make an impact
And that's it! I hope this list has sparked a few ideas into your head and that you’re able to slow down and enjoy your days a bit more. And again, if you’re interested in reading Barnes’ book in full, it’s called “Seeking Slow: reclaim moments of calm in your day” and is a lovely read.
This Week’s Little Joy: Josh got me a subscription to Fine Cooking magazine for Christmas and I have been looking forward to this first edition of the year since then. This magazine is the perfect amount of culinary complexity for me and I had been subscribed in the past, but a shift in publishers made it look like it might not make a comeback post-pandemic. I'm so glad it did, as I enjoy reading an article or two at the end of the day. I'm all inspired to cook!
What I’m Listening To: "When the Curtain Falls" by Carrie Hope Fletcher. These are all Broadway tunes, but completely reinvented. I only know like 5 of these tunes, but the whole album is just so cool. Tracks 1 and 5 have been driving me crazy with how beautiful the band arrangements are, and Carrie is straight-forward and solid in her vocals. She's a seasoned pro with so many musicals and tours under her belt, it's so nice to hear her in a project that's a little different.
Thank you so much for listening! I'd so love to know your thoughts, so feel free to leave a comment below. And as always, if you're able to leave a star rating or review on Apple Podcasts, it would mean so much to me.
Until next time, I wish you a lovely and slow week, friends!
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